my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Randomize
