im gay
i know
yea but for you.
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
