i wish semen tasted like chocolate
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Randomize
