Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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