I think I just saw someone hide a body.
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
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