You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
Randomize
