Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
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