all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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