if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
