that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
