now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Randomize
