why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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