even my farts smell like vagina
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
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