I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
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