hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Randomize
