she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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