we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
Randomize
