have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
Randomize
