Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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