i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Randomize
