party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
