barbara walters just said penis...
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
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