You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
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