so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
