I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
