man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
