it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
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