I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
