Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
