he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Randomize
