No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
North Korea, Best Korea!
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
