He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
Randomize
