would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
I don't deserve a penis
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
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