The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
i think i scared a bird with my dick
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
