i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
