Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
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