can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
Well I just put wine in my tea
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
You are a genius and a whore.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
