how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
