i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
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