hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
