hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Randomize
