she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
Randomize
