God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Randomize
