Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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