She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
