Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
