You work out of a Hotel?
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
You're like the curious george of whores
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
