So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
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