Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
