Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
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