Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
